You gotta leave it to Anthony Lane, one of the wittiest persons to ever review movies, to give “The Da Vinci Code” the treatment it deserves: “There has been much debate over Dan Brownﾂ痴 novel ever since it was published, in 2003, but no question has been more contentious than this: if a person of sound mind begins reading the book at ten oﾂ団lock in the morning, at what time will he or she come to the realization that it is unmitigated junk? The answer, in my case, was 10:00.03, shortly after I read the opening sentence: ‘Renowned curator Jacques Sauni鑽e staggered through the vaulted archway of the museumﾂ痴 Grand Gallery.’ […] The film is directed by Ron Howard and written by Akiva Goldsman, the master wordsmith who brought us ‘Batman & Robin.’ I assumed that such an achievement would result in Goldsmanﾂ痴 being legally banned from any of the verbal professions, but, no, here he is yet again. As far as I am qualified to judge, the film remains unswervingly loyal to the book, displaying an obedience that Silas could not hope to match. I welcome this fidelity, because it allows us to propose a syllogism. The movie is baloney; the movie is an accurate representation of the book; therefore, the book is also baloney, although it takes even longer to consume. […] The trouble with Howardﾂ痴 film is that it is far too dense and talkative to function efficiently as a thriller, while also being too credulous and childish to bear more than a secondﾂ痴 scrutiny as an exploration of religious history or spiritual strife.”