Statement

There is no place like the Cape. That is, just like any other statement that has become both a sentiment and a slogan, true and not true at the same time. I have grown very fond of the Cape, as Cape Cod is known in Massachusetts. The Cape is where my wife Karen was taken regularly as a child, to spend time on the beach, and where we try to go every year - with our reasons probably being different.

I grew up by the sea, in the north of Germany. Going for a walk along the water has stayed with me as something special - despite the grave reservations and even occasional bitterness that thinking about where I grew up now evokes in me. The landscape of the Cape resembles that of northern Germany - with the exception of dikes, of which there aren't any on the Cape, and pine trees, of which there aren't any near the sea in northern Germany.

But then those are superficial differences, nothing that registers on the deeper levels, where being on the Cape triggers emotions and memories. As a child, I hated going to the beach with my parents and my younger brother, since what they wanted to do (take walks) did not coincide with what I would have liked to do (play in the sand or take a swim).

I am too old to blame things on my parents any longer, and it doesn't matter much anyway who really is to blame after all these years. But being on the Cape always reminds me of not being with my parents or brother, and of the emotional connection I never had with them.

Being on the Cape also reminds me of being far away from where I grew up, and as I grow older I realize that I sometimes feel homesick. I never got to play in the sand when I was a kid, but I got to live in America - another thing I dreamt of as a kid. This seems like a decent balance, but a kid's way to balance is different from an adult's, and being on the Cape makes me notice what's left of that out-of-kilter balance deep down inside.

So then I stare at the sea.

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